Here and there, the game attempts feebly to establish its next-gen credentials by throwing around impressively wide vistas. Somehow they all end up looking like this anyway. You can customise your character's appearance at the start of the game. Entire towns and villages pop into existence right before your astonished eyes, as the primitive game engine struggles to keep up with the advanced concept of a character walking around and looking at things. The textures are consistently low resolution, which makes most things into a pixellated mess up close. The first thing that will slap you in the face like a sack of rotten crabs upon embarking on your epic quest is that Two Worlds looks like a PlayStation 2 game - and a PlayStation 2 game with remarkably weak, uninspired art direction, at that. Yeah, I guess we're probably not selling you on this one. Instead, they have created a game which fails to impress on almost every level - from the hackneyed, annoying dialogue and storyline, to the utterly dreadful graphics, through to the clumsy interface and completely tedious combat. Unfortunately, the team at Reality Pump who turned out Two Worlds seemingly missed that memo. If you're going to copy Oblivion, then at least that means that you're aiming for a certain standard of quality - a bar which has been set remarkably high by the development wizards at Bethesda. Now, simply copying a popular game isn't the world's most worthy goal in the first place, but that doesn't matter. The game sets out with a very clear goal - to be the next Oblivion. Which, despite a few really promising ideas, is just about exactly what Two Worlds turns out to be. The alternative is that you become another videogame violence statistic, with Jack Thompson carping on about the rampage you'll inevitably embark upon at one of those bloody awful Medieval Banquet tourist-trap nights. Close this tab in your browser, leave this review, and never, ever consider playing Two Worlds. If that paragraph made you want to stab me in the face (and frankly, we had to hide all the sharp objects in the room while writing it for fear of facial self-harm), then your path is clear. Verily, verily, thine developer should have to be some kind of knave to attempt such a release without great alteration to the very fabric of the game! Forsooth, 'tis oft uttered from the mouths of knaves that to unleash a game upon a console is a much different endeavour to unleashing that self-same game upon the PC.
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